A True Love Affair - Sue Grass

It started when I was twelve.
From my first puff,
I was in love.
True love.
The never-ending, can’t believe it,
butterflies in my stomach true love.
Yet…I toyed with a full commitment.
It wasn’t until I was sixteen,
that I really consummated this love affair.
I held nothing back,
I was a pack a day smoker.
I always had a pack
and I bought cartons.
The perfection of our relationship
lasted until I was twenty seven.
I wanted to have a baby.
My husband said,
“Not until you quit.”
So, I held my middle finger to my thumb
every time I wanted a cigarette,
and chanted,
“Baby, baby, baby,
I want a baby, not a cigarette.”
I was lying,
but it worked.
I got pregnant,
breastfeed,
Did it all again
and had my two babies.
Always, always
mourning, the end
of my beautiful relationship.